Fall term was rough. I had a close friend run into some troubles and I was spending a lot of time making sure their life stays on track. I also had a death in the family during the first week of the term, which was somewhat expected, but none-the-less heartbreaking. On top of that, I was commuting about 5 hours a day, 5 days a week. After 10 weeks and almost 8,500 miles, I needed a break and the plan was to take a year off.
Thanks to the wonderful world of financial-aid-fuckery, I couldn’t take a break. That would mean my six-month grace period would kick in and I’d have to start making payments on my loans. This wouldn’t be a huge deal since the plan was to get a full-time job. However, after I do finish my final year I’d have to start making payments again immediately after graduation since the grace period will have already been used up. This is an issue because my path to becoming a Registered Dietitian involves applying and paying for an internship in order to get the RD credential. Basically, I’d be in an unpaid internship for a year post graduation AND I’d have to be paying off my school loans. There may be deferment options in this situation, but I don’t want to run the risk or deal with the paperwork, phone calls, etc. I decided to reduce my credit hours to half-time so I’m still making progress on my degree and I can put off student loan payments a little while longer.
It’s currently 3 weeks into Winter term and things are going well. I’m really glad to be taking the term at a slower pace. All that craziness of last term and all the nonsense of figuring out credit-hour requirements aside, I’m glad I didn’t take a full-on break. Being able to take fewer classes and spend more time on the material with less stress and anxiety means I’m able to retain more information and maintain my sanity. I’ve always been the type of person that needs to take my time and digest information slowly and I don’t see that changing any time soon.
I think it’s really important for people to take things at a pace that challenges them, but it should also work well for them. I can’t speak for anyone else or tell you all how you should run your lives, so I’ll just say from my experience, mental health, physical health, and sleep are worth more than finishing a degree in four years (among other things).
I was not pro-Facebook in the beginning and only joined it because I was moving and wanted an easy way to keep in touch with family and friends and share photos of what I was up to. This was my first post:
Seems about right.
Since then I’ve added quite a few people as friends on Facebook, but I utilize the hell out of that “restricted” option. I tend to get the occasional random person who decides to comment on something I post that rubs me the wrong way. I’ll admit I use Facebook to share a lot of home-projects and complaints about life so those being the only two types of things I ever share, people probably think I’m a cranky old coot. Which is fine; I’ve been an 85 year old since I was 13. Also, by “friending” people and posting things they can see, I’m giving them access to my life and a means to state their opinion. So TO BE FAIR I did set myself up for that sort of thing. However, I thought, “why am I giving people access to the parts of my life I really only intended to share with extremely close friends and family?” Why? I don’t know.
And so I purged about a third of my [Facebook] friends yesterday. I felt a little guilty because I’m afraid it could be perceived as me not “liking” them anymore. But then I remember I don’t owe anyone free access to my life. And then I remember it’s Facebook. It’s not real life. Who cares?! But some people do. There are people out there who will read into it and make assumptions, but there are so many other ways to get in touch with me if they need something; There’s really no reason for people to be looking through a virtual scrapbook of my life. I owe them nothing in that regard. Social media is like the nosey neighbor of today, except stealthier. It makes it easy to be that nosey neighbor too, which is why I feel like I need to pull in the reins. . .
On a slightly related note, let’s talk about high school reunions. Actually, let’s just briefly discuss mine. I received a Facebook invite (heh) a couple weeks ago. I’m not going. I keep in touch with one person from my graduating class; Why would I want to hang out with a group of people I haven’t kept in touch with, most of whom gave zero shits about me in high school? Do they want to compare our weights and see who’s crapped out the most kids? 145 and zero. Have fun though! I’m sure I won’t be missed.
In other news, here’s a painting I did this past year in a design class. I called it “Little Fucks” because it is my aspiration to give no fucks about what people think about me. I know lots of people worry about how they’re being perceived and are non-confrontational so they filter themselves, but you really just have to be you. I don’t mean be aggressive though; The title and content are both a little in-your-face, but all I really mean is don’t filter who you are for people. Your unfiltered-self will filter the irrelephants out of your life.
ps – I may be reducing my personal facebook, but you can always find me in these places:
Looks like the last time I posted here was around a year and a half ago. As it so happens, the thing that’s been preventing me from posting is the same thing I’m here to write about; school. I had a weird day. It wasn’t especially weird compared to any other day, but it was a bit of a turning point.
I withdrew from my first class ever. I didn’t want to – I just don’t think I’m going to be able to complete my visual art minor so I decided to withdraw. The class was an evening figure drawing class and getting home at 11pm only to have to be up and out the door the next morning by 7am is not a great schedule.
I’m getting frustrated with my long commutes – I drive 3-4 hours a day, five days a week and some days my driving hours far outnumber my lecture hours. I wish I could make that time more productive. I tried vlogging last term; that didn’t work out since the camera I have really isn’t meant for that sort of thing. Also, I feel like driving is the thing I complain about most and I’m sure people are sick of hearing about it. I’m sick of hearing myself complain about it. And yet here I am. . . *complain-complain-complain* 🙂
In case you don’t know, I’m going to Oregon State University, pursuing a degree in Nutrition with the end-goal of becoming a Registered Dietitian. The program is tough, there’s little room for error, and missing a term or a core class can set me back a full year. The Dietetics program basically wraps up with an internship and I need to apply for that in less than a year. Also, not everyone who applies for an internship gets placed. I’m coming to terms with the fact that I’m probably not going to get placed. I feel this way because I have a lack of healthcare-related experience. I did mostly art for 7 years, then up and decided on nutrition so nothing I’ve done, prior to three years ago, has anything to do with nutrition or health or even food. Well, I did make chef coats, but that’s the closest I’ve come. It wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world if I didn’t get an internship, but it would be a huge bummer. . . which is why I’m mentally preparing myself now.
I started a YouTube channel (actually made it about 10 years ago, but it’s been stagnating) as an avenue to practice sharing my nutrition knowledge so subscribe to that (please). The channel’s going to be filled with random nonsense (nutrition/food related nonsense, mostly) until I figure out what to focus on, unless I decide my focus will be “post whatever I want”. There’s not much up there now, but subscribe anyway; it’ll help get me motivated to make more videos! Write you again soon! (*Fingers-crossed* it won’t take another year and a half!)
Here’s a recipe to [not] try in the meantime.